Location: an underground lair in an undisclosed location
My life hasn't been all that interesting, yet. Someday I may have a lot of personal info and published books to add here. But not yet.
So instead, I will tell you a story. A short story, of course. I know you are not here for a novel. Well, anyway, here it goes.
Once upon a time [yes, I know this phrase is overused...that's precisely why I added it]. Now, once upon a time and far, far away there lived a Princess.
"How can she live far, far away from everywhere?" someone like my brother might ask.
Well, you see she lived on a planet in a faraway galaxy called Purple Planet.
"Why was it named Purple Planet?" you might ask.
That is because everything on this planet was the color purple. The ground was purple. The sky was purple. The buildings were purple. The food was purple. The bananas were, can you guess? Blue, of course. Okay, I may have been exaggerating a little when I said everything was purple.
Anyway, the Princess was very happy here. Her line to the throne was through her father who was previously the king of both England and France and the president of America.
I know, that doesn't make much sense. You see, his father was the king of england previously. His uncle was formerly the king of france. Don't ask me how that happened...it's honestly a bit fuzzy to me. Right before he was born, his mother travelled to America for a trip where she gave birth to him. Somehow he acquired the correct type of citizenship and eventually ran for office. When his father died at a ripe old age, he became the king of England. He became king of France because his uncle joined the great pizza war of '57 and developed severe brain damage. This uncle had no children so our dear man with way too many responsibilities and far too few credentials also became the king of France. So it only made sense that when Purple Planet was founded he was the king of that, too. Of course, because it was so very far away and with unreliable transportation, he gave up all his former titles and leadership positions to rule on Purple Planet.
Anyway, we find our Princess....being the Princess that she is, living in, of course, a purple castle. Anyway, one day she ventured over to the purple grocercy store to by purple groceries....well, except for the blue bananas. Don't ask me why she needs to buy groceries when the castle is probably stocked with enough food for an entire village...I didn't make this up.
Well, actually I did. But that's because I wrote it that way. And as the author who has decided against an editor on this particular story, I get to make the rules.
Anyway, on her way back home she got caught in a rainstorm. Apparently this planet has a pretty good atmosphere that includes all the same weather patterns as Earth. Well, fortunately for the Princess, there was a unicorn nearby that gave her a quick ride to the castle. (I will admit, I first made up this story when I was about 8 years old).
The Princess made it safely back to the castle all in one piece and only a little wet.
And then she of course lived happily ever after
If you liked this story, check out more by creating a time machine and visiting 8-year-old me telling my little brother bedtime stories.
Well, that's all I've got.
Continue on with your journy on Fnora.
Okay, bye now.
You can leave now, I have nothing else to say.
okay, seriously, why are you still reading this?